Read tingchun's blog just now. Indeed i'm touched by the drama and the message Pastor Nicholas shared yesturday. The message was repeating in my mind even when i got home. I boldly stood up when pastor questioned us "Are you sure you will make it to heaven?". What was the feeling of sitting down, feeling unsure when you know that God is real. Many have backslided due to many reasons, many haven choosen the worldly things.

The "tap" just kept running during the drama. She didn't choose to contract SARS. Her parents contracted the disease because of her. How will she feel? Helpless... Guilty to her parents? "I shouldn't be alone" is what she can think of. How she go through all these? Its because there are people praying for her, through sorrow and pain.

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Just got home after supper with karen and sherlyn. Hee... Its a girl nite out. Well, Its been sometime since i really went out to talk. Hmmm.. Its an informal thing. I sat on the bench with them and suddenly, just decided to go for supper.

We ate and chatted for 3 hours. Guess all of us had something to share.. or rather jus wanna say it all out. I think sherlyn and i had something in common. We are quite similar in our thoughts. =).. Karen is the most independent among us. Karen mentioned something... I should just do what i feel like doing and not regret...and something v important that encouraged me. If it really happens... I'll say it out. =)

Quite tired. I was in school doing project since 11. Hopefully i can hav a good rest tonight and meet the rest for project tmr b4 HOF. I'm looking forward for HOF tomorrow.. And also the plans after HOF. Heh.... its CAFE DEL MAR.. Girls nite out again tomorrow.. I enjoy all the girls company... Guess i feel more comfortable bah..

Hope to meet up with xinyi and terry soon. Of cus ting chun too... I've not met sherrie and carine for a long time. I really miss you girls.... Take good care and do well in whatever you do. God bless.....

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Back from projects. Boring... I think National Library sux. we can't bring our books in...how you expect us to do projects. Anyway the carpark fee was ex too... Hopefully we won't go back too often. Had wantan mee for dinner. Suppose to meet wy for dinner...but he thought i was at JE national library. Well done hor... *clap* *clap*

Was feeling rather "luan" yesturday while talking to some of my friends. The feeling is like...don't know what to do. Listening to my friend's complain, talking to some of them about how i feel... So many feedbacks... Well, i know i can't depend on all these. God is my priority. =)

Tired.....think i need a slp soon....

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Sunday Pastor Dale preached about the Art of loyalty. Its a BIG encouragement to me.

• Loyalty to God demands our best
• Jealousy corrupts our loyalty to God
• Our loyalty to God is not proven until tested
• Loyalty to God is loyalty to the truth
• Loyalty to God sometimes requires us to be 2nd to others
• Loyalty to God must be above our self interest

Loyalty won't be proven until its tested. Issn't it the same as men? You won't know whether u are loyal to someone until its tested. Now i realise why i'm loyal to certain things or rather someone. Something that Pastor shared really wakes me up. Loyalty to God sometimes requires us to be 2nd to others. Many times when you try so hard to be 1st in someone's heart, you are always not given the attention. I can do my best, but i'm still not given the priority. Its so true issn't? You won't achieve real success until you are willing to give priority to God and be loyal to Him. Loyalty to God must be above our self interest. The world is so tempting. If we always put our interest first, we definately neglect God. Many a times fun carry us away from the Godly benefits. The interest of worldly stuffs had blinded us of the gifts God has for us. But when we are loyal to God, He will honour us. You won't be loyal to anyone is you don't know how to be loyal to God.

Many things have happened recently. I thank God for the message to prepare me for the week. I couldn't bring myself to sleep the past few days but i'm confident that God will handle my emotions when i'm loyal to Him. Was determined to go out yesturday... Don't feel like staying home after project. Went to meet jy and vin for dinner at vivo. Heard many things from them.. And realise how much i've grown up. Though i may be younger than them, but perhaps the things i've gone through cause me to be mature in a way or another. Didn't interfere with jy and mic's conversation..So me and vin went 2 play pool. We talked at my playground while waitin for mic to fetch them to JB. Though i may seem cheerful but i do have my own problems.

Everytime, after i went out, its just back to the same old me. Sometimes staring at the ceiling while waitin to fall asleep.. my mind just wonders off.. but the thing is.. I have a God to pull me back and put me to sleep. I appreciate that...really.

Relationship problems.. Just heard from my friend about his prob with his gf. Hope they will be fine. If you guys are reading this post, i hope both of you will be fine after some cool off.. =)

Planning to go for a holiday after my exams. my exams are well spread out. Thank God. Hopefully this trip will be a better one.

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I think my blog is getting boring. No pictures to upload.

Finance class was alright. Manage to catch what the teacher is trying to teach. Anyway, went to meet kelvin and his friends for dinner. Its the 2nd time i actually go out with his friends. Well, dinner was fine just that there were some irritating flies around. Went to holland V to chill at eski bar... Did nothing much then went home.

Somehow somehow... the feeling is wierd. Not because of the accompany. But i guess... he resembles so much like his brother.

Its raining. so cold.

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Its a saturday.. And i'm waiting for time to pass. Will be having finance lecture later at 2pm. What a day to have lecture right? boringz... However i had fun last nite!!

HOF was as good as usual. I missed it last friday and so was actually looking forward for hof this week. Thank God i manage to reach church when worship is still on. I lost my way to yee's work place. Its just so ulu.. Haiz.. Nvm. Traffic was bad as its peak hour, and so, zhiwei, yee and me were late. Well, if zhiwei didn't meet me, i guess he'll reached yishun an hour earlier. Oppx... Pastor Casey shared about confidence. Yup, some people may be confident in many ways. Perhaps they always had good results.. or perhaps they are born with a silver spoon. But, they never recognise what is true confidence. Though some may not have confidence in themselves, just like me. I don't have confidence in my studies. 2 semesters result shows that though i studied together with my friends, they always hav a better understanding in their work or even achieve better results than me. But this time, i put my confidence in God. Humble myself and rely on Him. Indeed i feel confident... And i guess God is showing me that i can only find confidence in Him. Thank you Lord.

Had dinner cum supper with tingchun and jieren. Tingchun really can make me n yee laugh like mad. His expression and stuff...thanks ah friend. Yee and i was like starving throughout the service. So hungry... But thank God our kuey chap was good. =) We headed on to Marina Square to meet weiyuan & weijie for movie. Music and Lyrics. $9.50 per show. Its been sometime since i pay so much for a movie. Hehe.. Come to think about it, it was the first time me and yee watched a movie, though we were close hor? Anyway, the movie was GOOD. I love the song... Wonderful! We laugh throughout the show... Though my vision was half blurred. I guess i'm still tired... Oh and weijie got his license. Haa... Owe me a ride.

I was so tired till weiyuan had to send me back. Haha...its a good thing tat his brother can drive. Well, its fun hanging out with them. Its nice to have many similar friends around so that we can hang out together. Its time for me to wash up for school. Hope to meet up with more people even during my busy schedule.

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Congratulations Bee Bee!! My tests are finally over. 4 days of tests... Really a torture for me. But i still prefer studying to working. Now...I'm like a walking zombie.. So tired.

I want to thank God for His guidance throughout my tests. I can't say i will do very well, but i feel comfortable after each tests. I attempt all the questions well.. giving my best. I know He is with me all the while. =)

I need to adjust my timing now... Feeing very tired though i slpt early last nite. I've been out studying at nite during the past 2 weeks and will sleep only in the morning. Now i have to work in the morning... Is really a torture for me.

Its the month of fasting. Have yet to participate due to my exams. I'll try for 1 meal for now.... Praying for His mercy and prayers to be answered. I know He hears... like what was shared during G12 last nite.. Never get discouraged.. Always have faith. Will do...

Looking forward to HOF tomorrow nite. Missed it last friday due to finance test on sat. Might be catching a movie after HOF with yee & weiyuan... Music and lyrics. Heard it is nice... Wonder what should i do during this weekend. Parents will be off to china next week.. GOSH! means i need to fetch my brother to school... sob.. How i wish i can go for a short break... to KL or Genting or to anywhere i can have a good rest.

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3 papers down.... 1 more mcq to go... After 3pm tomorrow, I'll be more or less free. Heh... Had been studying for the past few days. Studied MAB the whole of last night. But i thank God i manage to do the paper.. I know its God. thank you Lord.

I miss hanging out with my girls.. Miss sentosa.. Miss KTV.. Haiz... Hopefully i can squeeze some time to relax as i have a project due on 2 April. Lessons will continue till the 2nd week of April. How they expect us to study.

Anyway, after my PM test tomorrow, i should be resting. And i mean it. Nothing much to blog... Will update more soon...

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-SOME THOUGHTS-

Was talking to junyuan & Alvin just now at west coast mac. We have known each other for quite sometime... Anyway they are my seniors. I realise they have grown.. From shuqun till now... Hmm..Actually many of us have grown up. Wanting to settle down.. look for a gf/bf and work towards another part of our lives. Was quite surprise with junyuan agrees with me that parents blessing are important. We talked about the part where we were afraid of getting married in the future with the someone whom we don't love the most. Who can predict the future? Only God. I know even if i don't love him, God will make me love him... if i serve the Lord faithfully. God makes all things possible.

Didn't really study much today. Had breakfast and had a little chat with hongyi abt Christianity. I'm not someone who can bring out all sorts of bible verses to convince him, but i stick onto my own belief. I'm really glad that no matter what others say, i'll never weaver. Even during times when i feel lousy... when times i feel God is not helping me or even not being fair to me.. But i'll still stick onto Him. Faith... Trust... and Believe God will do all things.

Finance test was not so bad after few nites of studying. Its not easy for me to understand finance as i don't have the basics..not like my friends. I guess sometimes they are irritated when i keep bombing them with questions.. But they are still nice to teach me. =) Thank God for being with me today.... i still manage to read my bible these few days... thank God for the strength.

Somehow i'm lacking faith in certain part of my thoughts. I feel quite discouraged after the conversation with someone. But i believe God can do ways to move that person. If God opens another way, I'll follow.

Alot of my friends were complaining about not having a gf for sometime.. half a yr? 2 years? They mention loneliness. I may look cheerful, joyful but i cannot deny there are times when i will feel lonely.. Especially during rainy days. I cannot deny i miss the callings n chatting on the phone. Thats why i'll try many ways to make me busy or even go out with friends if i can so that i won't feel so lonely. Its not a good idea actually, but i'm still a human being.

I'm NOT desperate for a boyfriend. I believe the right timing and the right guy. Perhaps i miss the days where i have someone to "sa jiao" with... where i can make that someone smile because of me..

I'm getting tired..perhaps i should start doing my accounts before i head to church for the 8am service.

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I'm so so tired. Have been studying till the wee hours in the morning recently. Finance is getting me crazy.. I think after all my tests i need alot of rest, but projects will come in straight after tests. ArgHz...Give me a break please...

Caught 300 on Wednesday. I don't really like the show.. I find it wierd. But most of my friends love that show. Yyy?! I should have watched the music and lyrics. Hope to watch it.. As you know, i don't really have movie kaki now.. haha..

Saw many people at West coast mac. Alvin & Junyuan were there for 3 days. Wonder what is so nice about mac. We got sick of mac till we went to clementi to eat before heading down to study. And... Went to meet weiyuan for breakfast this morning before he went to camp and me returning home to sleep. So u can roughly estimate wat time i sleep..

Finance test tomorrow... Hopefully i can do the paper... hopefully other papers will be smooth too. No pics to update.... unless u don't mind my pimply face...

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I enjoy my day with them. Oh ya, notice my fringe? Yes i jus cut it. Went back to the salon with my mum as she wants to cut her hair. So...i had a free hair treatment by my mum.. Hehe.. Wanting to go back with xinyi but we both seems so busy to meet up. Anyway, my tests are coming. Do pray for me ya.. I'm kinda worried as i don't much time left.. But still...i feel so slack..

Tests tests tests...then comes project. Never ending... I miss ktv. Was suppose to go last friday. But it was all fully booked. Shld never go ktv on a friday night. Was looking through my pictures... realise I really take alot of pictures recently. Thats what a camera for rite..make full use. heh... I think i've influence weiyuan in taking pictures. He is very "gian" to buy a camera too. haha...

Time for me 2 sleep now. Full day tomorrow.. And i will be MIA for few days . . . For the courtesy of Yee.. haha..oppx..

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Daddy bought a sofa chair for me few days ago. Heh...I longed for a sofa chair, so that i can read my bible or notes on it instead of on the bed.. so nice rite my daddy... I think next week my mum wants to renovate her room already... Perhaps I'll just take this opportunity to do the shelvings for my room. I know I've been speaking abt it for sometime.. But we are still looking for the right time to do it. =)

Yesturday at HOF, Pastor Chui shared to us about our responsibility. I was sitting there, drinking the word of God. So wonderful.. Liberty means responsibility. Even though we are given the freedom to choose, we are responsible for our actions. Even to the society or what we do in our everyday lives.

Have been studying the whole week. Though i was tired.. But i feel much happier now as i get to wake up late and study with friends in school. I'm tired....Couldn't slp the whole night....

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A picture on the Suzuki Swift

8 March 2007, Thursday

Suppose to be at Kushinbo. But we were all late due to the previous nite study. Furthermore the carpark lots at suntec were full.. We had no choice but to head to westmall for sakae buffet. We were like eating too fast in the beginning... Was feeling unwell, probably because i was too hungry. Oppx... It was the 1st time we ate together... Planned quite long already.

we were at Essential Brews. Its my first time there. Kinda sua ku. Well, we walked pass frosters and i saw azlina, my primary school friends. THEN, at Essential brews, i saw alvin and junyuan. what a day.. haha.. Had some tea, ice creams and tiramisu. Yummy... A nice place to chill.. not long after, weiyuan start snapping pictures ...



Look at weijie.... "you think its your own home ah?" giggles.... Thats it for now... I'm tired... Time 2 sleep....gd nitez.....

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End Of The Spear is a good show. Watched it yesturday at HOF. I think its because Pastor Lim did mentioned in the main service, the whole providence is packed with people. The show is inspiring. About a few missionaries.. How they risk their lives, how their families suffered for the sake of the gospel. There are a few scenes that touched me.. How people can forgive their enermies. And the most important thing i've learned through this movie. Its the guiltiness of a believer whom just accepted Christ. Guilty for doing things that should not be done in the past.. =)

Went to eat nasi lemak yesturday. SO guilty. Haiz.. And i guess i'm too hungry till i was feeling kinda uncomfortable after the meal. Went to visit The Bottle's Park the 2nd time last night. Weiyuan wish to visit this place.. Heh... But we went there later than the other time i went with yee, so the owner was rushing us out of that place. Yee! there are swings there.. So fun.. We shall go again for the swings k.. hee..

Some pictures taken...






Nice rite? i love the swings. Btw... Weiyuan is my good friend and my chill out mate. We talked about everything under the sun but we'll never become an item. Hehez.. At least i have someone whom have gone through what i'm going through. So DON'T TRY TO TAG ANYTHING ON MY TAGBOARD. =)

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