Guess i've been having some sleeping disorder. I couldn't slp even when i'm tired. Maybe its the project stress. SM project due is really killing me. I'm really scared.

I need to go HOF tomorrow. Though i will be heading back to projects after that, I really want to spend some time worshipping the Lord.

I need more rest. I've yet to recover fully.

* j o y left her prints @ 2:46 AM

I've got a full day class tomorrow yet i'm still awake at this hour. Guess i'll need my power nap again. Finally i was back to work today. Piles of work to be done and i manage to rush part of it. I need to get everything done before i can concentrate on my SM and OTD project.

Thank God my voice is getting better. Spend sometime doing SM after OTD discussion in school with hongyi. SM is killing me and i mean it. It took me so long to get part of the intro done and the outline is not even 50% done. I have 2 more weeks. Went suppering after school closes at 11. I was telling hongyi, I'm really excited about what i'm going to do after i graduate. Probably its because I know exactly what i wanna do. Anyway, side track a little bit.. CINDIIE! I've not seen u since CNY! We'll study together real soon.

Guess this sat is burned again. I'll be going to zhixian's birthday celebration with jiahui. Counting down, I've not much time left. Yee is going for a holiday and congrates to all final yr poly students for their graduation.

Hmmm..I'm actually doing quite well now, emotionally i mean. Yet, it still affects me whenever i hear abt him. 如果我能不听不想，那该有多好。I appreciate those whom are concern about my brother and me. Thank you so much.

P.S : If you are reading, you can pass the hp to your brother.

* j o y left her prints @ 2:54 AM

I am struggling... to talk. I woke up this morning without my voice. Hate it because my voice is really horrible. Joleen was shock when she hear me this morning. Ruth told me about her dad. I know you are worrying but its good that you know you should hand all these to God. Will keep you in prayer.

Life seems to be so fragile, so unpredicted. Whatever happens around me this week really woken me up. Cherish what i have now. Yup, i enjoyed myself today even though most of the time i'm doing my assignments. Worship today was good even without my voice. The message was good even without a notebook and pen with me. Kinda not use to it though...stupid me forgot to bring my notebook. Mummy is nice to boil some apple and pear drink for my throat b4 i head off to farrer mac to meet wenjie. The time at farrer mac was good as i manage to do some analysis plus some random chat+discussion with my classmates over at MSN. Dinner was ok even though the food sucks. Back to farrer mac after dinner and the laughter and jokes were good b4 we left mac. Suppering with hongyi was good too even though it was a short one. I make random comments even though i insisted not to talk during supper. It was funny how me and hongyi were laughing over the fone without any words spoken. Home sweet home is the sweetest of all.

I learn to appreciate little things in life and enjoy every part of it. I don't want to regret or feel everything that i do is a waste of time. Everything should be beautiful isn't? Tired. And its time to sleep.

* j o y left her prints @ 1:58 AM

I'm sick! really sick after that MC. Its my 1st fake MC and it causes me to become really sick the next day. I guess its a sign from God that i shouldn't do it. Sorry.

Seems like the MC thing has been going around. People like wenjie and others who didn't take that module know the 3 of us went to take MC. Anyway i don't want to waste that 30% and that means we'll have to work extra hard for our final exam though...

I was at home the whole of friday due to my discomfort. Didn't go for the wake, didn't go hof. I spend the day at home helping my mum with the household chores. Imagine spending 2 whole days at home doing all the cleaning. Wonder what my maid has been doing the past 1 year.

Had 3 days of porridge. But its cooked by my dearest mummy. So no matter how sick i am towards those bowls of porridge (esp when i dislike porridge), I appreciate the love and the effort from her. And finally we had dinner outside tonite at some restaurant. My dad treat!

Suppose to join jaecia they all at plush as i'm just few streets away, but decided to go home after dinner. It has been sometime since i saw jaecia. I lost my voice! Can't really talk and sing. Furthermore tomorrow have to do SM. I really need to rest. Yet, i've been busy since i got home till now. Guess the whole family has been spoilt all along. Without a maid really can kill us. But its a nice feeling to have the whole family doing the household chores together. I'm happy with my room. Because i clean and tidy them!

Projects will be piling up. Its scary. I can see the late nights and the rush-all-nite-tru-and-submit-the-next-day. It sounds like our investments project. Hate those late nights. Causing my complexion to fail.

Done. Going to bed now. Bye.

* j o y left her prints @ 1:17 AM

I actually and really got sick after getting an MC today. Decided to stay home to do the laundry tomorrow before going for a poly mate father's funeral wake. Its so scary to even know about this. She is just my age. Life is short and fragile.

My brother is getting better, i guess. Accompanied him the whole afternoon. I got this phobia about going to the hospital. I'll have jelly legs once i go in. Anyway, all glory to God. My parents are tired, going in and out of the hospital. And me as a daughter and a sister have to do all means to help the family. Now without a maid, I've to do all the cleaning and washing. I'm proud of myself though.. =)

* j o y left her prints @ 11:39 PM

It was an impromptu celebration for her after IF class on monday. It all started from teck's 不能说的秘密。Instead of suppering as usual, we got sick of prata and coffee and decided to go for a ktv session. AND... finally when they drink, i got things to do.

And when the clock strike 12...

A photo taken with the birthday girl...

It was at helo bar as its near SIM (Ngee ann) to be exact. Look at how happy teck was...

Kevin & huixian

Con was kinda "high" that night.. Can't stop talking..

Huixian and me again. And with that irritating finger of hongyi's. And he know for sure i'll scream at him after seeing this picture.

The non-drinkers of the night..

"Yum Seng" for the drinkers.

The segment of "yum seng"

I've stop doing things that i've been doing for more than a year. It doesn't mean i didn't care, but i just want to be selfish for once. Yet, I'll still pray.

I've got a test tomorrow. However, i'm taking a MC. This is my 1st MC ever.. Well, i just don't want to screw up this 30%.

Supper with hongyi and con these 2 nights. I realise sometimes guys just think too much. They think girls are complicated.. But i think guys are wierd. It actually shock me by how they think. Well...

Conversations are wierd nowadays. Topics that we talk about seems different. This applies not only to my own clique but to everyone. Hmmm... its time to start rushing projects and tests again. March will be a hectic month. Its fasting month once again! Can't fast this time due to my sleeping habits. I'll just cut down 1 meal and I'll stop shopping for a month! A stand for God. =)

My brother is admitted to hospital for a check up. He had too many relapse these few days. I was really worried when my dad called me. It affected my studies just now when i was in school. Called him and he sounded tired. I really hope the reports will be good.

Was it a blessing in disguise? My relationship with my brother somehow gets better these few years ever since he contacted this disease. Yet, i pray one day he'll be fully recovered and everyone will look at him normally.

* j o y left her prints @ 2:45 AM

Valentines Day wasn't as bad as expected. HOF was brought forward to thursday to celebrate valentines day. Each region were asked to produce a video and they did a terrific job. Though its a day for couples, but i enjoyed the company of my friends. The ladies were presented a stalk of rose once we enter the providence. Wala-wala with ruth, alvin, yee and her bf, zhiwei after hof.

Another gathering with my girls. It was suppose to be a mini-celebration for jasmine. However, not many turn up. We did some catch ups with one another. Everyone was attached. By hearing their stories, i had mix feelings. Well, I'm glad some are doing fine but feel sad too for those whom are not exactly doing fine. I think its a must to meet up often and not just a yearly thing.

Brought them for supper with my friends at clementi. And we continue our story telling. Mostly them telling the stories while i listen. Sorry girls, I didn't want to say mine because i'm not exactly fine yet.

"God spoke the world to existence but God made us with His own hands." This was quite powerful. I always thought nature was beautiful. If God can beautify the world with many beautiful things, how bad can the life of mine be when He mould and made me literally with His own hands. My life will be a beautiful picture. And i'm convicted.

I owe it all to Jesus
I owe it all to Jesus
If i am ever anything
All the praise to Him i'll bring

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* j o y left her prints @ 9:53 PM

Went shopping with ruth just now. Was walking around far east throughout and now my legs are aching. Well done. Start shopping at 2.30 and we left far east at 9! This is what i call "girls power"!

Took the train home. Ya, that girl ditch me off and went to hitch a ride from her friend at amk. Its a long time since i took a train home myself. Was listening to my mp3 and looking at people. (well, you can call me kpo). Its always when im alone that all memories came back. Memories when i'm in poly, memories of talking to my boyfriend a few years back (living in our own world even when we're on the train), memories of two couples( jiahui and myself) taking train back to the west and many more..

While i was walking home from the train station, memories came flooded me once again. Especially during the cold days, i miss his presence, his voice, his warmth. Well, here i am thinking of him probably he is somewhere thinking of someone else. Thats y i hate walking back alone. But i miss doing my self-reflection cuz only when i'm alone, i could do self-reflection.

I was touched by Pastor Pang's message this morning. I was sitting there drinking in the word of God when it suddently hit on me, "When was the last time i was happy, really happy." I realise all these while i was happy due to some temporal tangible matters, yet i long for a happiness that is deeper than this. Then it struck me, the last time was 1 year ago, probably during the countdown 2007 when my smile was totally happiness from the depths of my heart. I was searching for something to replace this happiness all these while, finding things to do, going out for supper, driving out so i would not have so much time for myself and even during my own QT, i'm also rushing it through. You can be prayerless in your prayer life. It was after quite some time since i cried during alter call. I miss His presence, i miss His touch. I thank God for what He had spoken.

I need more train rides, more wallking home and more time for myself. Guess i won't b going malaysia this year. I've done with my shopping and i'm looking forward to new year. Mostly meet ups and i hope to see more people whom i seldom meet.

Work tomorrow.. And... shopping for groceries with my mum. I'm such a nice daughter. haha...

* j o y left her prints @ 11:56 PM

I had a fun day out shopping on thursday. Though it was quite rush for us towards the end of the day, but i know where to get what during my next shopping trip on sunday. The day started with me having facial, then meeting huixian for yakun before starting our shopping spree. I was somehow scared that i'll over spent cuz i almost bought something from the first few shops that i've visited. Thank God i resist the temptation. Yeah..i actually did huh...

* j o y left her prints @ 1:22 AM