Thursday, November 29, 2007
Problems surfacing will no longer be friendship problems or any other problems that will affect me alot during my younger days. The different levels of difficulties, struggles and trials will mould me to be a different person.
Sometimes i just don't wish to talk about myself, about my life. Because i know clearly no one can help me. All i want is just a pat on my shoulder, a warm big hug, telling me "don't worry, you will be alright. i will pray for you." I long for that hug again, but it will be mine again.
I just want her to be alright. Every other thing can wait.
* j o y left her prints @
11:24 PM
Monday, November 26, 2007
累。。我真的做到很累。每一天都相在打仗。有心无力的打，不知能承多久。心理的难处，谁会了解。我只能祷告，有信心的祷告。今天跟妈妈通电话。跟她发了牢骚，但又能帮得了什么呢？她自己有自己的烦恼，她也只能安慰我，说我们的努力，主会看到，会祝福的。我的眼眶挤满了眼泪。有时我们人类也想听安慰的话不是吗？
有好几次很想放弃，但又不舍得看到每天的吵吵闹闹。现在我把自己牵涉在这堆烂泥里，我可以把它救活吗？精神快要捧奎的我，有时想起妈妈，她是如何的坚强。我即使不是为了我，也要为妈妈做一点事。因为有太多人让她失望了，我再也不能让她伤心失望，至少不可以为了我。
希望明天会更好。
* j o y left her prints @
11:14 PM
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
I'm feeling lousy. For certain reason. How many times have i told myself that i will not allow it to affect me. Perhaps numerous times. I want to stand strong and ask God for help.
Rent another set of korean series. Quite nice. Spent most of my time at home after work, and im glad. I love staying at home. I have been going home for dinner so often as compared to last time. Sleep as early as 11 and wake up at 8. Healthy and i like it.
Guess i've complaint too much. Will be meeting cinddie next week. Alot to catch up ya?
我存在在我的存在
所以明白 所以离开
所以不再为爱而爱
自己存在 在你之外
* j o y left her prints @
12:58 PM
Sunday, November 18, 2007
It is only when you are stretched, your faith will be tested.
I just don't know why all these things will become so complicated. The fact that we love one another so much, yet refuse to give in their ways. I've been stretched, stretched to the very extend but what about her? She is suffering 10 times more than me. Faced with the discouragement from her soul mate, bad and hurting words shooting her on and off yet still show her concern and care towards this family. Being afraid of affecting her children, she choose to keep things to herself, cry out to the Lord for mercy and grace. Still giving her best in whatever she do, be it for the sake of the company or for the family. I pray for the Lord's comfort to be upon her, always.
Sometimes i jus miss doyle. Not literally miss him, but miss having someone close whom i can relate to and backing me up with prayers. I have close friends outside, but sometimes they just don't understand. What i can do is just throw all complaints and hopefully after that i will feel better. Well, many a times, its not the case.
It have become so difficult to handle. Its not the matter or whether u will be doing your best or not, but its whether you have the support. Like what she always says, work is easy but handling people is alot more difficult. Especially to your own family members.
The past 1 week is the worse 1 week i've ever worked. I've drained out so much and it hurts not to be appreciated. I know exactly how it feels and i hate it. Thought i would have to work during the weekend but God is good. He allows some rest time for me.
Met the guys for dinner on monday to celebrate kevin's birthday. Now when everybody starts working, its difficult to meet up already.
Took this outside topshop.
Left expo earlier than i've expected and went to the office to pick my brother up. I would say during this point of time, my mum and I were consoled by my brother's sensible self and at least i've seen improvements. *smile*. Was deciding whether to meet my uni friends for supper, meet hongyi for movie or join jaecia they all. Decided to meet jaecia and wenjie first..
After much consideration, i've decided to join jaecia, wenjie and kelvin for the night. Overall it was fun, looking at how "open" the ang mos can be, playing games, chit chatting. Left around 3 plus. Not enough sleep, and i am like half awake blogging. I'm glad i join them. Because i know this coming week will be a tough week.
In His grace, I will go on. Till the day when i see Him face to face.
* j o y left her prints @
8:14 PM
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tired....
Has been a week. I tried my best, give my best.. But sometimes its just not as smooth as u thought it will be. I had prepared myself for the worse and depending on God each day for His strength and His wisdom.
Everyday is just like a routine. Work and nothing else. I don't even have the strength to go for amore this week. After dinner, i'll be tired and went to bed ard 11. what a healthy lifestyle ya? haha... I've been cancelling supper or any late night programs just to have enough rest for the next day. Hopefully my friends won't forget me.. =P
Hopefully, another round of break in december will be beneficial for me.
* j o y left her prints @
5:14 PM
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Sometimes i wonder, if i do not have God, what would i become now? I'm afraid when at times, things jus falls nicely into place. Because i'm actually expecting something bad to happen soon.
I've learned. I've learned not to take sides, not to let it bother me, but i'm still human. I do have feelings. Many times when im disturb, God is my only strength. I'm tired of looking for people to accompany me, to listen to my complaints and my sufferings. Because all these are jus random people and i don't want them to know.
I won't give up. I won't give up to be a happy and joyful person. Even though all these might not be in control, but i'm sure God will intervene. I will work hard, I am not named JOY for nothing.
* j o y left her prints @
12:00 PM
Friday, November 9, 2007
I'm back from KL two days ago. Now, enjoying my break and will be returning back to work on monday. Haiz... Its work again. Honestly, i enjoy school, even with all the projects and exams, its still better than working. Well, i have to get use to it issn't? 1 year later, i'll be stepping into the working world.
Its coming to the end of the year. What have i accomplish this year? Any new resolution for the new year? Seriously i don't know. Perhaps i'll write out my resolution soon after giving it a thought. Yesturday was deepavali. Went to have lunch with terry and ting chun. Gave them a birthday treat... Wow.. i'm really broke.. Walked around city hall and had a good talk with ting chun. Seems like we both were tired and weary abt certain things in life.. Leaving all these to God and just do whatever we can bah. Taking everything lightly..
Dad is back early. well, for wad reason i shld have guess. Came back slam the door.. spoil my day. Guess i'll leave home soon...
* j o y left her prints @
2:59 PM
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
* j o y left her prints @
11:06 AM
On my way to KL. thought it was pocky.. haha..but it taste the same
Look at my mum's showering cap. Very nice rite? its from daiso!$2 only!
Look what's this?!
Its a turtle!!!
My mummy and the cute turtle 