Feeling sux. Its quite disturbing quite irritating but also its inevitable. How i wish i can jus shut my eyes. Somehow its no longer a secret anymore.. And he is not hiding anymore.

I'm tired. After a long day, i think i need some rest. Its friday night and i think i will be staying at home. I want to meet yee n ying badly. I want to meet jiahui badly.

Yesturday was the last night of exemplify. Its so good to feel the Lord's presence once again. whenever i hear this particular song, memories will flood.

I miss the old self.

I will live happily.

* j o y left her prints @ 5:16 PM

Went for the 1st exemplify last night. I have to admit that my spiritual life has been going down hill. I miss God's presence. I really do. My life has been full of activities, meet ups and work that i literally push God aside. I lost the desire to serve Him and will also find excuses to miss services. I don't want to. Today i was taught that God want all of us to be consistent. So what if I gave my life to God in the past, so what if I love God a lot in the past? But what about now? Have i been consistent towards Him? I really need to get on my knees to pray. I want back that personal relationship, that daily conversation that could keep me going.

My parents left again this evening to china. Home so far so good. I've been controlling my emotions recently as i know sometimes i do get overbroad. I'll get angry very easily and i don't know why. Haiz... I should pray about it.

Guess its hard for me 2 get a job this holiday. And this means i have to stay in the company. The results will be out next week. If everything goes on smoothly, it will be my last semester. *pray hard*

Celebrated the brothers birthday last saturday. As i've expected, it would be awkward. But overall its still alright. I won't want to escape from my feelings. Sad means sad, uncomfortable means uncomfortable. I won't go round saying i'm alright. The fact that i still feel something when i see him. But i also know this has to go. I'm cool and calm. A pinch of jealousy.. But hongyi is right. He won't even bother.




* j o y left her prints @ 1:32 AM

* j o y left her prints @ 1:30 AM

I miss them so much!!!!!!!!!!! This was taken on carine's birthday last year. That was our last meet up. Can you imagine!!!

And i met up with them yesturday, this time with ruth around. We had fish & co for dinner and we enjoyed ourself to the max! Did alot of catching up and we realise we've grown so much older! So old so old... The things we talked about are no longer "hows that cute guy?" but "hows work?". Carine commented that next time we'll be talking about our children. So different issn't?

Rachel & Carine is doing quite well and sherrie is looking for a new job. Ruth is looking for a job now while i'm still studying. Argh....i'll be the last 2 graduate.... I really hope 2 find a good and interesting job that allows me to fly once in awhile.

Have been quite emotional recently or shld i say i'm easily aggitated. Don't know why. I hate it. But i do hope things will improve, if not people around me suffers..haha....

* j o y left her prints @ 1:23 PM

was rushing like mad today. I sent out some emails, went to jobstreet and jobsdb to look for jobs. Well, response was good.....had 2 calls today. But its not what i wanted.... HmMm...seems like i'm gonna do it again....

Went to the hospital this evening with jiahui. It was wierd as we don't know his dad personally. But ya.....we were there for him. So it doesn't matter lah... When we're out, it somehow pains my heart seeing him going through all these, yet he still gives a very strong front. Whatever it is, we're once close. Perhaps thats the reason why it bothers me.

Off i rush to pick my dad and send him back before meeting the "farrer-study-group" for a drink. They went to this high class restaurant at raffles hotel. I thank God i give it a miss.. The bill amounted to $65 per pax. Phew! Then we went timbre to chill... EIC was not bad.... Its quite a nice place to chill....

I kinda miss those days that we're studying..... Alot of fun and laughter. Now....its boring!!!

* j o y left her prints @ 3:11 AM

Life is fragile issn't? You will never know when your love ones will be gone. It was quite disturbed when i heard of the news. I didn't know what to do, how to console him because we've not been contacting for a very long time. I really hope he will take it easy.

Back to work. Boring place. Im glad i've made it clear that i would not want to work with my parents and i've decided to find a job myself. And this vacation, i would like to try. Hopefully i'll be able to get a job soon...if not i'll be stuck there. More plans coming up this week....

Bintan photos will b up soon...lazy to edit lah.....

* j o y left her prints @ 2:34 AM

I'm back!!!!!!

I had a good rest at bintan. Basically doing nothing. Bbq, chat, beach and massage. Shiok! Its the 1st time i went for massage. Spent $88 for body scrub and massage.

Its really a good rest after the exams. And i'm sure yee too. At least a breakaway from whats happening over in singapore. I always believe in going for a trip once or twice a year. Be it malaysia or somewhere further.. Just breakaway from singapore.

Next trip, Aussie!! Hopefully by August we'll be able to book the tickets.



* j o y left her prints @ 12:14 AM

3 papers down! Phew... Another to go. This semester has been killing me, from projects all the way to exams. Hopefully i would not haven to repeat any modules, so i could graduate by next semester. IF paper yesturday wasn't so bad, i mean as compared to finance paper the last 2 semester. As wat con say, it could be worse. But still...i don't have confident....

I slept for 14 hrs! well, to make up for just an hr sleep before IF paper. I've been struggling yesturday while watching Iron man. Its good! Enjoyed the show. After movie, i thought of going back. BUT... I just couldn't resist the temptation to shop. Yes! and i bought a pair of sandals and a top. Hehez....and not long after i showed, i doze off.......zZzz.........

Yeap! and next week we're going to bintan! A good 3 days of break... There are still slots.. text me if you are interested!

* j o y left her prints @ 4:27 PM

I'm suppose to be asleep at this hour. Was tired jus now and slept for 1.5hr and i couldn't sleep now. Argh! Don't have enough sleep these few days. Hopefully i can pull through OT paper later and will still be able to study for IF paper on monday. *stress*

I'm excited for the coming bintan trip! its confirm! I just can't wait to "nua" there!

back to books.

* j o y left her prints @ 5:06 AM