The week has been sort of good in a way. Over the weekends, i've been out and these really drained me out as i use to stay at home during the weekends, especially on the sundays. I went for class on a saturday, went shoppping after that(though didn't get anything) and went to chinatown with alvin and huiyee on sunday. Its super crowded!

Well, the past 3 days i've been camping in school doing my SM project. it sux! I hate the feeling of wanting to start early yet nothing is being accomplished. I can feel how jaecia feel last semester. This module is definately a killer module. Gosh! And to our surprise, this assignment is due 2 weeks later then we expected. well well well...probably i can shop in peace tomorrow.

Swam with cindiie on tuesday at hongyi's aunt's condo. Ya... We just went in jus like tat. Hehe...we love the place as its quiet and it seems like we have the whole pool to ourselves. Its amazing how cindiie and i can be close even though we juz knew each other for a short while. We did swim...ermz...ya 1.5 laps and we spent half an hour warming up to get to the pool and like most of the time chit chatting in the pool. Its fun! And before we know, the rain came.

Its such a coincident that wenjie's friend is actually my dad's classmate's son. Well, don't b mistaken. Its not weiyuan. But its such a small world ya? He is also wenjie's current classmate. Eh....i don't really know him. But i know who his dad is. And of course his sister whom is the golden horse award winner who acted for 跑吧孩子！ Thats how i gotta know he is actually her brother from wenjie.

Gonna shop tomorrow. I've yet to get anything for new year and i thank God for the bonus so that i can shop alittle this year. Hehez... But i'm planning to save most of them cuz i'm thinking of travelling this june. Well.. i'm still planning though..

* j o y left her prints @ 11:02 PM

紧紧相依的心如何say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢
我用背叛自己完成你的期盼

把手放开不问一句say goodbye
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管
只要你能愉快

* j o y left her prints @ 3:01 PM

Am i trying too hard to convince myself that i can do it, no longer being very bothered by the issue? Had a long talk with cindiie yesturday and it knock right straight into my mind. Have i been trying to convince myself that i'm capable even during this short period of time? By diverting my attention far too much that somehow its no longer me? Well.. I'm tired of trying. It just pissed me off sometimes for what i've becoming now. I don't really like myself now.

I want to find myself back. And it means finding the soft bee back. Do i still wants to be soft? With all the things that have happen so far, would i be able to accept if i would to see it with my own eyes? I don't want. I really don't want to know. Yes, you may say i'm escaping away from the reality, but don't you think its too cruel? I hate you for hurting me, yet I don't hate you. I am contradicting myself. Well, its has always been...

This saturday is the recruitment. If its God's will for me to go, I'll go. And i'm dying to go.

* j o y left her prints @ 10:52 PM

well well well.. I know sometimes i'm taking the freedom i have for granted. Everyone do make mistakes right? I hate it when people start to doubt me (when its not true) and i take it very seriously when people start to comment about me and it bothers me alot about how people look at me. Yes, i may be playful. Yes i may want to enjoy. But that doesn't mean I'm changed. Alright alright, i admit there is a little change in me, but i still stick to my beliefs.


Had a bad night last night before i went out. It was the worse night out ever. Ya probably its because of the recent festive seasons and the celebrations that i've been staying out late but like what hongyi said, if i were to think that its just these few weeks, i can don't bother what my parents say. BUT BUT BUT...unfortunately, it matters to me on how they are seeing things and how they look at me. I hate this kind of feeling. And... sometimes they can be quite childish by just looking at one thing to make decisions.


Another thought, they can be right. Perhaps i've been diversifying my attention a little too much and that hav probably steal my focus on God unintentionally. Yesturday's message was really good. Its good to be back to HOF again as i've been travelling to KL quite often during the vacation. There are a few doubts and thoughts in my mind that i've yet to sort out. I'm afraid that its just me and its not from God. Its difficult to press on to what i thought was a promise from God. Should i press on or should i not? Was it just me or was it from God?


I went to visit a patient last week in KL. He was my mum's friend in the past and have lost contact for years. He was diagnose with diabeties and had 1 leg amputated. When i visit him, he still look afresh but he told us his other leg has to be amputated as blood couldn't flow through. He has a very good family background in the past but he didn't cherish his family. He had 3 wives and 6 children, but none of them had good r/ship with him. The days he was admitted to hospital, none of his children came to visit him. He had no home and stays in the elderly home. A man who is in his 50s has no wives, no children with him during his difficult time.

Perhaps it was his foolishness that cause him to be in this situation. His unfaithfulness, playfulness and many more. Perhaps his children are not willing to forgive what he had done in the past. At this age, he suffers alone, without the encouragement of his family members. No matter how rich or how well doing you were in the past, but your own family is in your own hands. He jus wept when my mum and her friend visit him. He was desperate for prayers and wept when my mum and her friend prayed for him. And now, he has gone home to be with the Lord. It was sudden as he jus spoken to us barely a week ago and i believe he left with lots of regrets in his life. I believe his family was not with him at his last hour.

How sad can it be? I saw him once. Just once and it taught me to cherish my family, and to be careful not to do anything that will cause regrets in life. Its not how well you start, but how well you end. It will never be too late to say sorry, to turn back.

Above all, i still thank God for my parents. They freak me off some of the time (i mean it, just some of the time) but they never fail to shower love for me and i know it all along. I thank God for helping me through too, though some of the times i question, i get frustrated, but He never fails to console me and lighten my tenseness whenever i thought of Him.

And....... i have a very long talk with alvin just now while we are having our lunch. I'm very excited to do what i wanted to do all along. True, I shouldn't always day dream and no actions taken. I want to earn some pocket money and hopefully and prayerfully earn my air ticket to somewhere(which i've no idea where i wanna go) this june. Well, hopefully its not a 5-minute-hot thing.

Way to go Bee Bee...jiayou bah!

* j o y left her prints @ 1:22 PM

I got my hair trimmed on monday with xinyi. Was suppose to return back to work but decided last minute as our dear xinyi has no more free days to spare. Although it was too early to trimmed for CNY but she wants to dye her hair b4 her birthday. So...what to do? haha... I like the after treatment effect of my hair. But once i washed it, it is back to normal again. Haiz.. There goes my 50 bucks.

Had a long talk with xinyi on monday before and after our haircut. I'm glad we still have alot to talk about and thank God we are still close. Its never easy to keep in contact with people whom u seldom meet. Even though we studied in SIM, we don't see each other in school. Terry, Richard, Joleen, xinyi and i were school mates...and i believe more to come. Its nice to do some catch ups once in a while.

Heard something that wasn't very pleasing to my ears. People do change. What was said in the past will not be the same now. Be it promises, decisions or whatever. Yup, its stupid to hold on to what was said in the past cuz people do change. It became harder these few days.. Its always harder after sometime.

Soon it will be february and CNY is coming. I've yet to shop for my new year clothes. Think i'll get a dress ba.. I don't like CNY. Year after year CNY has always been a drag for me. Since my parents won't be around on the 8th day of Chinese new year, which is also a valentines day, for a week, Probably i'll plan for some steamboat session or bbq. I got a long break for CNY cuz i think my lecturers are lazy!

School so far was ok. Start doing tutorials the past few days. I need to get almost all the textbooks next semester. It will be tough for me as i'm taking 2 difficult modules. =( pray for me ya...

* j o y left her prints @ 10:54 AM

Just got back last night and was rushed home to change and prepare myself for keith's birthday celebration. I skipped dinner as i will be super late if i join my parents for dinner. Well, reached there ard 10pm. It was at plush bar, though nothing special but heard it was new. Some of the customers there can really sing, and saw 1 project superstar contestant there. The queue for the songs were real long. It was only when we're about to leave then the songs were played. Quite an enjoyable night.. However... well, took some photos. Others were at jaecia's and huizhen's camera.

Its crazy to have serious talks last night at the bar. I had a good talk with huizhen last night (though we're not very close). Its amazing that she can talk to me as she was quite high before that. Guess she have been through as she is 2 years older than me. Its true once you get older, your mind, your mentality will change. Its quite cute for her to tell me to find someone 5-6 years older than me and kept asking me whether i have someone in mind. We were talking about responsibility. Once a decision has been made, your responsiblity for that decision comes in. Though you might regret in a later date, but its your responsibility to fulfill it. Issn't very true?

I was sitting in church today when this came to my mind. Its stupid though for me to say this, but i think the most influential tool to our decision is our heart. Your heart always influence your decision. Though I've told myself, "yes, you have to do this do that", but ultimately when your heart weavers, your decision will be affected. Therefore i always believing in giving your heart to God so that He will guide us to the right direction. However, effort has to be made. Definately. I've seen the problems of young married couples and sometimes i thank God for the situation i'm in, at least i'm still single.

It takes two hands to clap. I am willing to allow God to guide my weary heart and i'm sure if i'm willing, God will help me. In another case, if i'm not willing, there will not be any outcome.

Decision made. Heartache. But my heart ain't listening.

* j o y left her prints @ 8:40 PM

It scared the hell out of me yesturday when my colleague call me. Well, for those whom i've met yesturday and are on my sms list should know what happen. Actually, i don't really know what exactly happen but it actually hit on me real hard and honestly i have yet to recover from that shock.

I was about to prepare myself for school when i knew about that incident. The 1st reaction was PRAY! I sat there, thinking why would this happen in singapore and why would it happen to my family. I went to my brother's msn account, asking for all his friends number, trying to contact him. Called the school even and thank God i manage to call my brother. I mass sms to people for prayers and thanks to those who have replied. Though after this incident, i recall some of the replies were quite funny though. Doyle replied a "huh?". And ya, i don't know how 2 reply him already. And then a "what happen?" and i don't think i was in a mood to reply cuz i have no idea what happen. Well, whatever it is, thanks for all the prayers though its just a prank call. I even thank God for the helpers who help my dad out in the midst of the mess as the so call "kidnappers" refuse to hang up the phone. Still, thank God for His protection.

I've yet to speak to my dad about this. It was scary. Heard that there were a few cases recently and it really makes me feel better after i heard cliff actually went through this before. Ya, i know i shouldn't but it assures me that its just another prank call.

Phew! Really thank God.

I skipped school today. Ya cuz its RMIT visit and its a morning class. I couldn't slp last nite till ard 3am. I'm back to the office. Yup, gotta work again. Will b going KL tmr for a few days and will be back on sat then off for a birthday celebration. I'm getting drier.. If anyone get what i mean. No more shopping till my next pay day.

I'm blessed by Cinddie's post. I'm glad to meet u in 2007 too.. And we got tons of stuff to catch up with each other. I miss my girls, my volleyball girls. Everyone is so busy.. And before we realise, another month, another year would have past. AND, age is catching up on us....

* j o y left her prints @ 2:09 PM

I spent my 1st week of holiday in KL helping my mum in her exhibition. Thank and praise God i manage to help out and of course not forgetting the shopping spree over there. I shopped for 6 hours, all by myself. Next, i came back to work my hearts out. Having a tough time with my dad in the begaining, keep complaining and bla bla bla.. I'm in a wrong at times lah and i feel bad after those quarrels. He is still my dad and i still love him.












* j o y left her prints @ 12:57 PM

More updates on New year Eve... Thanks to Ruth for "sacrficing"..wahaha




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