* j o y k o h's

Thursday, July 31, 2008



I wanted to blog about this since sunday. Yet, i do not have the courage because i don't know if i can do it. Sunday's sermon wasn't about forgiveness, but it somehow link to it and i have this strong feeling, that i need to forgive. Forgive that someone that i thought i did not bear a grudge on.

I finally realised that if i don't forgive him, i won't be able to walk out of this shit. If i don't forgive, i won't be able to move on. But what can i do? Besides asking God for help.

I've been trying for the past few months... Trying very hard. I feel ok when i gets busy..but i know its not the right way. I'm not healing..but rather let busyness numb my feelings.

Yet, at the a positive side, I thank God for what has happen. I learned more.. I learned to be stronger.. And i've learned to see the other side of man.

Its not a coincidence that i'll get to dream of him last night.

A last bye to him. Forever.

I know the day that i forgive is the day that i have put this whole thing down. There's a lot of questions in mind but i'm not that kind that will force for an answer. Because i know ultimately, I will get hurt. Just let my imagination do the job....

A project due tomorrow. I need to start working.. Concentration..


* j o y left her prints @ 8:47 PM



I've been waiting for the change, for the change of "status".

Finally. I've waited.

Finally. He has changed.

Finally. I know how it feels.

Congrates.



* j o y left her prints @ 8:44 PM

Friday, July 25, 2008



I am not sure if its the late nights that trigger my emotions.. Accumulated maybe. Projects started piling up, not much of honeymoon period already actually. Somehow i feel more emotional...or rather some people say "PMS". I tend to get irritated easier.. Sorry guys but i'm not sure why.

Actually sometimes when i'm driving home, i still feel something. Exact words to describe the feeling? I don't know. what kind of feeling? I don't know. Sour? abit. Lonely? abit. Sometimes i still feel i'm in a holiday mood. So much of fun last 2 weeks. Back to reality. Focus Bee...

Push cart business coming up next month. More things to prepare. Don't know why i start to doubt myself.. whether i can sell my stuffs. I really don't have much confidence. I need prayer..

I hate to doubt about something. Because it hinders my path. I need the confidence. I need the peace I've been longing to have.

Probably I'm just tired.


* j o y left her prints @ 5:42 AM

Monday, July 21, 2008



19 July 2008
-Farrer-mac + 2 UOLs-
Last stop. Dinner with SIM friends. We had "zi cha" at "sin hoi san". Its near tiong bahru. We had a few good dishes, for example the la-la and the pork ribs. But the kang kong was damn spicy. Cindiie happily cleared the dish. Haha...

I took this opportunity to ask ah boy to sing for me. Heard he can sing, but i've yet to hear him live! After dinner, we went to a small ktv pub which boy frequent to. His voice really POWER. He can sing really well. Hongyi was saying boy just came here to entertain us with his singing. Good job boy!



We left quite early but hongyi left with my car key!! While waitin for him, cindiie mike and me entertained ourselves. We took lots of pictures and alot of jumping. Mike and I sweat like nobody's business. Yet it was fun.


Agnes B. keychain from cindiie & mike. But i guess soon...its from all of them. Haha... I love the card cindiie!! thanks for being so sweet. Thank you guys for the dinner!


* j o y left her prints @ 1:20 AM



18 July 2008
- Surprise parcel, Mono -



A surprised parcel came to my doorstep. 1st gift on my birthday. I didn't expect this. Year after year, he never fail to surprise me, be it for being the 1st to wish me, 1st to call me or my birthday gift. This year, 1st gift of the day. However, all these will slowly fade away, just like the things we used to have. Yet, Thank you so much. You really don't have to do this.

I forced myself to sleep after opening the present. Woke up just in time to get ready for HOF. Its Create! Met ruth at khatib as she wants to pass me my birthday gift. Thank you girl for coming down just to pass me the gift. Yours is on the way!!!


Thank you so much for the gift and the cute card. Thank you for the encouragement behind that little cute card.


Rushed down to mono to meet them. The level 0 came down to celebrate my birthday with them. ermz..ya more of like he is supposed to come. Whether or not he is willing is another issue. haha... I knew them for slightly more than a year? or less? I was closer to kelvin then... but now with jaecia and huizhen... I'm getting comfortable with the group. The pictures do show....

Everyone was rather high that night. Especially wenjie as his friends from powerhouse force him to drink. We sang till 5am in the morning. Kaiqing is gracious enough to give us mixes free of charge. I open one bottle for them....and basically i'm broke this month. I need some love offering. haha...



Thank you guys for the gift.


* j o y left her prints @ 12:51 AM



17 July 2008
- Sakae, NYDC, Breko, drive -
Dinner @ Sakae with sherrie. Even though we met early, we just have too many things to catch up with each other. Rachel came late after work and still...we go on chatting. Although we seldom meet and usually, we'll only meet one another on some birthday celebrations, I still feel very close to them. No secrets... Very comfortable. I'm really happy for my good friend sherrie. She is getting married next year and i promise her to slim down by then to be her pretty "jie-mei". haha....

Its nice of them to buy me a brownie ice-cream. They sang the birthday song to me. It was then i realise birthday celebrations no need to have a big group. What matters most is who is there for u. I really appreciate the effort and it does caught me surprise as i don't know how they can distract my attention when sherrie told the waitress about putting a candle on the ice cream. Good job babe!



Went to meet weiyuan & weijie for coffee @ Breko Holland. It was a real last minute thing when i received weiyuan's message in the evening. It has been months since i last saw them. Chinese new year maybe? Its great to see the 2 brothers once again. Yee came down too...After much persuation from us. Haha...she brought her favourite chou chou along. For those who don't know, chou chou is her favourite pet dog.

When the clock strike 12.....


I didn't know it was suppose to be a birthday meet up. Thank you guys. Weiyuan treated us that night..haha.. Forgot to take a pic with him.... so ya...had to dig the past photo to replace. Thank you!!


Thank you for being there. The drinks, brownie & the lozenges.

Hongyi came down about 12 plus. We went to have supper. Its nice of him to come down 2 wish me happy birthday. It was still early and he suggested driving around. Petrol is so expensive now can!! but since its my birthday... i agreed. haha...we went keppel marina.. But it was closed. I'll go back there soon. Then we proceed to somewhere near mount faber. Very pretty...very romantic. next time bring my future bf there.


* j o y left her prints @ 12:13 AM

Sunday, July 20, 2008



11 July 2008
- B girls + old boys @ mono -

A celebration with the girls & alvin at Mono. It was brought a week earlier as xiaoli won't be around on the 18! 2 surprises in 1 night! jiayi came in after she told me she couldn't make it. Thank you babe! 2nd, yee came in with a cake after she told me she will be staying at home (without any reason given). Well done both girls.... I actually believe u!




They make me bite the candle which was deep inside the cake. The creamy bee was formed shortly. Yee was so afraid tat i might squash my face to hers... haha...






They were the ones who makes me smile, the ones that can make me cry.




Thank you for being there. Thank you for the gift.


* j o y left her prints @ 11:53 PM

Saturday, July 19, 2008



Had a wonderful birthday celebrations with everyone this year. I appreciate all of them, each and single one for taking some of their time off to celebrate with me. Thank you.

Enjoyed myself last night @ HOF. It was a night to look forward for.. David did very well (as usual) in the band category. Went to pick huizhen up at yishun mrt den off we went to meet the others. We open 2 bottles...Well this is little as compared to the usual. I think cuz wenjie had another birthday celebration at powerhouse, therefore they couldn't drink much. But we sang till 5am. Everyone was kinda high... It was quite funny. Took alot of pictures.

Will update soon when i get the pictures from them...


* j o y left her prints @ 4:16 PM

Wednesday, July 9, 2008



Another long day. Something happened that make me feel so bad that i refuse to see or hear anything. I sounded alright while talking to jaecia. I sounded happy while talking to xiaoli discussing about this friday. But i was "chui" while talking to my mum after the 9pm show.

I didn't really planning to go out..but i just wouldn't want to stay at home. I was even "chui" when i met hongyi for supper. Couldn't control my tears... I was talking to ruth online when i told her i wanna depend on God more than anyone else. I did...i prayed. I didn't just picked up the phone & call someone else to talk abt it. I'm glad i did. And i'm glad i had such a friend.

Last minute decision. KL tomorrow. 1 night. Miss BB on thursday. Ktv on friday.


* j o y left her prints @ 4:12 AM

Tuesday, July 8, 2008



Celebrated Leyping's birthday on saturday. I didn't expect myself to feel that way.. And i realise all along i had many distractions that allow me to stay throughout. I'm learning... slowly...However, i had some fun that night. Went to Tim's place to look for cindiie & hongyi. Actually cindiie is the only reason i went down. haha... Though he was drunk (as usual), i had little catch ups with the others. Saw kelvin's gf at SIM that day too... haha...

Its July! This year i had more plans than usual. Not about celebrations, but probably gt more things to do.. Example my push cart and online business. Push cart will be up in August. More preparations to be done. This is the only year i initiate to organise a small gathering with my friends. At least something to look forward to....

I have been feeling down recently due to certain issues. But i think God is reminding me that he still cares for me and that he wants me to put Him first. Alot of times, i depend on friends around me.. whenever things happen, i'll call people around me for help, for comfort. And God is always my last resort. I thank God for reminding me... I need to reorganise my life once again..

Yet... I always thank God for friends. =)


* j o y left her prints @ 4:06 PM

Tuesday, July 1, 2008



Had a fruitful and enjoyable weekend.

I woke up early on a saturday morning just to give the level zero my support! I jump out of my bed at 9.30 when i am suppose to meet cindiie at 10! Haha...but both of us were late. I had a hard time looking for the entrance. Thank God i manage to be there before most of them start their ride.
Saw hongyi, chinying, crystal, jacinta and kelvin ngian's run. This is my first time seeing them wakeboard. haha.... Cindiie and I were jus entertaining ourselves when others were so damn kan jiong. Chinying made me cry... boo hoo..... and good job hongyi! He did well....

We were burnt for the 2 days. We were like complaining n complaining. Went down on sunday as well. Trying hard not to smell with sun block.. i "k kiang" don't put sun block. Now i'm like a lobster. Yet, I'm glad...Cuz all of them didn't disappoint me!!! SIM came in 2nd!

Congratulations Hongyi for being the champion!
Congratulations Chinying for being in the top 5!
Congratulations Kelvin Ngian for being 3rd!

Went to meet the girls straight after chinying's ride. I was late...terribly late. They had their first round of gathering at the central mall. Missed the catch up with Julia though....

Suntec city

Dinner @ Kushinbo
My goodness. I spend $47 bucks for a buffet dinner. We had fun! Just like the good old days in secondary school. We will never be too bored when we're together. Tonnes and tonnes of things to update each other. We're very open to one another... we girls have got no secrets!! right? I miss them so much... How i wish we can meet more often.. Next gathering will be at siloso beach resort k? Cheap food but good ambience. Haha...


The 2 girls that went to grab the special dish.. *looking contented*

all of us @ the table

Its a whole new semester again. Although i got tired of work, but its quite scary to see myself studying again. This semester will pass very fast as projects and assignments will just kept piling up. But...one thing to look forward...I'm getting a new phone!!! HTC diamond!!

I plan to go for a short trip to KL in july. I've got one week free. More n more gatherings this july! Yay!!! Shopping with cindiie & hairdo this thursday!


* j o y left her prints @ 12:03 AM