Just got home from celebrating the boys birthday. Boi, edwin and mike. I should be sleeping now...but perhaps i've just got something to say about this special day.
As usual, i enjoyed thoroughly. From 11 to 5. We sang our hearts out and everyone (i suppose) had fun. Be it singing or dancing. I guess when one gets really high, one will feel rather emo. Well well well.. i was fine till everyone in the room starts to get emo. I almost cried when i hug cindiie. Yup.. I did not drink at all.. But i could feel the tense and how cindiie feels.
The unwanted, the brotherhood among the guys, the shit feeling. All the boys probably get so used to the closeness and did not even bother to be sensitive to our feelings... TILL we showed them. Many times the "niceness" are taken for granted and treat it as "it-is-suppose-to-be-like-tat". Sometimes when we just got so pissed off, then they will crawl back and give us a hug. What for!! seriously, if you really do care and be more sensitive, you wouldn't even make that mistake in the first place, RIGHT? Are we thinking too much? Everyone is treating the girls as their brothers already. Though sometimes when you see us on the streets, people may think we are as close as a couple. Yup. Just because we are too close. Cindiie and I might even know the darkest secrets of them that even their gfs won't know.
We do have fun hanging out with the boys. Not pointing fingers at them, but i believe we girls too want someone to be there to love and care for us. We just want to feel special sometimes. Not only we don't get the special treatment, sometimes we are treated like shit. I'm sorry if its sounded too harsh/strong. I figured that we shouldn't be so nice to them after all. As much as how i noe i am soft hearted (yes, cindiie you are right), but we ought to give those guys out there a lesson.
Not denying there are some good times, and the lovin' times. I don't want to judge them. Give them the benefit of doubt. However, i just don't want me and my girls to suffer and always sparing a thought for them and not be appreciated. I hope they can prove me wrong. I do hope i'm wrong. =)
Happy Birthday Mike, Edwin and Boi.
* j o y left her prints @ 7:02 AM
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
* j o y left her prints @ 1:03 PM
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Two days ago, i was looking for an envolope to send a top to my customer. While digging, i saw a stack of cards in the drawer. When i open them one by one, then i realise those were the cards i received on my 21st birthday. Thinking back, it was 2 years ago. As i open them one by one, i smiled. From church friends, to poly friends and even my uni friends. I am no longer close to most of them already. Everyone has changed. Including me. Probably, the only evangelite i really talk to now is joleen. I smiled at the card i received from kelvin and jiahao. Reminds me of those poly days. I smile at the little card joleen wrote to me, reminding me to be back into the ministry and serve God together with her once again. Yet, till when i read the last card, my heart ache. I have forgotten that i did received a card from him. Reading the familiar handwritting, the familiar style of expressing himself and the usual sign off with his self-owned "W".
Yes i may feel pain because of the fact that i'm no longer the one in his heart. Its even more painful to think that he is no longer serving God. I tried so hard to forget everything, its not an easy task. I guess this scar will always be there. I've learned alot. Many mistakes i've done and time and time again i allow things to happen.
I'll not make the first move. I will not ask "are we meeting?" just to remind you we are. I will not keep initiating the conversation or sms. I will not initiate to ask you out even if its convenient. I will not send another sms if the 1st one was not replied. I will not call if you said you will return my call when u didn't.
I think i need to protect myself and not let all these mistakes repeat themselves. I will be careful. This year, i'm 23. I blame no one. I understand the nature of human beings. I'm big enough to think. I will not let any guy bother me so much till i couldn't even think properly, couldn't even eat properly, couldn't even smile properly. Too many examples out there for me to learn.
I can be so angry and pissed off my good friend being emotionally unstable because of someone. Yet, i myself allow all those things to happen in the past. Knowing exactly things won't be the same again even if we get back together, yet i don't bear to call it to an end. I don't know if all these are what it is suppose to be.. But i'll still continue to live my life to the fullest. Not because of anybody, but because of me.
My trip to taiwan is confirmed. This getaway probably will be a good rest for me after my exams. It is longer than i've expected, but i'm glad i've decided to go. Have been looking for jobs now. Though i still have another semester next year, but hopefully i could get a job soon. I don't wish to burden my family any further. May God sees and guide me.
* j o y left her prints @ 3:56 AM
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
RMIT Bash 6 Sept 2008
I attended my first RMIT bash. My first visit to zouk. haha... well well well... i know i sound "sua ku". Was suppose to be there at 8. But ALL of us were late. In the end, we didn't go for the bash. We went in around 10.30pm. First round @ winebar and thanks to Jane, we had a table inside zouk. Everyone was quite gone at the end of the night.. except me! haha...
The level zero is damn high. Look @ his face!
I really have no idea who made those tissue roses.. but i think its pretty!!! And i can't rem who snap this pic.. I'm not exactly ready man..
@ the dance floor. the girls of the night. Was sick of the "5/10" game when it turn out to be "35/40" game. Too many people.
Ruth was there too. She was with her friends and was at winebar before i reached. Just nice she was dressed according to the theme. "White bling bling"
My dear cindiie! She rejected my invitation initially and decided to come after the event. Haha.. But i'm glad u came dear. I had fun!
My new friend. Nichole. She is damn cute. Another chinying. I was like a baby sitter when hongyi is not around. Miss singapore universe.
The farrer bunch. Boi looks so happy. Where's cliff?
Went up to look for my classmates. Part of the Apricot crew. Look at our scholar. Its the first time i see some of my classmates so high...Its quite funny though...
@ winebar. The healthy group before cindiie came. The table is full of alcohol. I was thirsty then and there is no drinks for me. Argh!! Thank God there is still red bull. Haha..
Er.... this is the....Taiwan group? not complete lah.. In the process of planning..
All of us, with a few of the pool friends of Mike & Desmond.
We took more than 120 photos. Never smiled so much before. Over the weekends, my parents and my brother went to China. I was home alone.
After 2 tests last week, i decided to give myself a break. After the test on friday, i went KTV with jaecia and bunch. This time, no alcohol. Healthy. Hehe... Have been helping wenjie with his project. I was as "kan jiong" as him. It seems more like a group project man.. Hope i am of some help to him...
After those days...i was back to home alone. Started a new hongkong series. At least keep myself occupied before my parents n my bro is back. Exam time table is out. Time to study after 20 Sept, marketing project due. I'm really glad i had a good bunch of friends. The laughter always brightens up my day. Thank you guys.
The level zero is damn high. Look @ his face!
I really have no idea who made those tissue roses.. but i think its pretty!!! And i can't rem who snap this pic.. I'm not exactly ready man..
@ the dance floor. the girls of the night. Was sick of the "5/10" game when it turn out to be "35/40" game. Too many people.
Ruth was there too. She was with her friends and was at winebar before i reached. Just nice she was dressed according to the theme. "White bling bling"
My dear cindiie! She rejected my invitation initially and decided to come after the event. Haha.. But i'm glad u came dear. I had fun!
My new friend. Nichole. She is damn cute. Another chinying. I was like a baby sitter when hongyi is not around. Miss singapore universe.
The farrer bunch. Boi looks so happy. Where's cliff?
Went up to look for my classmates. Part of the Apricot crew. Look at our scholar. Its the first time i see some of my classmates so high...Its quite funny though...
@ winebar. The healthy group before cindiie came. The table is full of alcohol. I was thirsty then and there is no drinks for me. Argh!! Thank God there is still red bull. Haha.. 
Er.... this is the....Taiwan group? not complete lah.. In the process of planning..
All of us, with a few of the pool friends of Mike & Desmond.