The year 2007 hasn't been a good year for me. This year just went pass too quickly and too torturing. I couldn't hide my emotions although many times i tell myself i have to do so. Bringing up a brave front, strong front was what i have been doing most of the time, but deep inside my heart was shattered pieces.

1st christmas eve was worse than expected without him. Its the 1st Christmas celebration without him by my side. It felt even worse after reading that comment and realise probably he had celebrated that special day with someone else. It seems somehow true when that sms was not replied. My heart still ache after so many years. I wonder how, i wonder why. But i will never ask why and i will never wanted an answer. I have began to fear of being rejected that i would not want to see a reply. I have never expect it to happen. Never because i trust you so much for whatever reasons you have given me. Yet again, I'll not blame anyone for it. I'll quietly leave and give you the blessings.

Its tearing up my heart. How i wish i wouldn't got to know it, wouldn't got to read it. But i believe through God's grace i'll be better. Because i've did whatever i can and i've prayed. Yes it hurts me all along, but it has never hurt me so deeply as this.

Still, i want to give God all the glory. Though my year didn't end off well, still i hope for a better 2008. It will never be the same. Never.

And to xiaoli, it brought tears to my eyes after reading your blog. I knew it hurts but you can never face everything by yourself. You will not take it one day. Don't let the people who love you worry for you too. I hope you will meet up with me one day.

* j o y left her prints @ 1:27 PM