I have been all along living in fear. Though i know i have a God who will take away all fears, yet I'm still living with fear. Fear of the uncertainties, the tomorrow. Fear of not getting a good life parter, fear of diseases, fear of work, fear of not getting good results, fear of people, basically fear of everything. My brother refuses to go 2 church recently and we simply don't know why. Tried talking to him, but he refuses to share. Is it jus a transition period? His "for a period of time" might jus seems "forever". I fear. I fear this will be the 2nd lost, lost of a very close one, for Christ.

Yet, Sunday's message speaks right into my heart. The message was about fear. It reminded me of the faithful God. I miss spending time with HIM, i miss worshipping Him. I've not been doing my quiet time recently due to my late nights. Missed few G12 sessions. I miss the sense of peace HE use to give me when i read HIS word and listens to HIS songs. I went back to listening to casting crowns this afternoon. I watched interview with casting crowns on the youtube. One of their songs "slow fade". It always is a slow fade away, yourself and God, till you did not realise. And you will drift very far away and will not realise it because you are getting so use to it.

submitted OTD project today. Again, reached school at 8.30am to print our project. Its tiring. Projects are slowly killing me. We stayed up the whole night editting and finalising the last part. And tomorrow, i'll hav to start studying for this sat's marketing test. I need to be more discipline 2 go for lesson. Have been skipping majority of them.

I'm refraining from hearing about what he is doing and how he is. I guess it will be a good choice. No matter how much i wants to know, I choose not to. And i guess my loyal fan should know and she choose not to tell me too. Yet, what ever it is, if he is attending the same church as u now, i'll be happy for him too. From the depths of my heart. However, this can remain unspoken.

I need a good rest before i'll be the next to fall sick.

* j o y left her prints @ 1:03 AM